Urban Natural History

Thursday, May 6, 2010

DIY Paper gift bags - upcycled, cheap and pretty darn cute

Packaging is the bane of my small business existence. It's expensive, mostly boring and mostly made of cheap or un-recyclable materials (packaged in yet more crappy non-recyclable materials) which is especially painful considering most of it will end up in the trash on arrival.

I was going to go with wrapping the items in tissue paper and placing them in simple brown paper bags stamped with my logo but apparently they don't sell paper bags in Montreal anymore. So in an effort to, as proposed by Craftster.org, 'DIYour-own-damn-self' I made my own. They turned out so cool I've horded some of the cuter ones for myself (to, like, look at and squeal or whatever..)

Books or magazine pages are the perfect size and shape (rectangular) for making these: you can find lots of used ones for cheap and chances are you already have lots at home, some of which would greatly benefit mankind if they're used for anything but reading (Reader's Digest condensed novels anyone?). My favorite is vintage childrens books with their colorful illustrations. You can be really cheap and buy the sad broken ones in the bargain bin which is where I found this one which is ironically about an injured chipmunk. Don't cry little chipmunk, I will save you! And make a gift bag out of your paper corpse...

Other materials:
*Tape (glue stick if you also happen to have it)
*Finger nail, butter knife, or other hard flat stick thingie to make those folds extra crisp.
*Best of all, no template!

Note - It's better to avoid reading the instructions I provided which barely make sense to me and just focus on the pictures, much less confusing :P

1 Fold your paper to join both short sides in the middle. I use tape on the entire length but you can also use a glue stick if you make sure to have one side overlap.

2 Folding what will be the bottom of the bag. The size of the tab folded will be equivalent to the size of the bottom of the bag. I like to fold the bottom 1.5 inch since anything smaller tends to be difficult to work with once you get to the smaller folds.

3 What's going on here? Basically you want to fold open that tab you just made and end up with two triangles at either end. You want to make sure to align the crease in the middle of the triangle with the fold made previously. Here's one fold completed:

4 Both folds completed:

5 This is where it starts looking familiar. Fold the top and bottom edges to meet in the center making sure all the creases are perfectly aligned.

6 I prefer not to overlap the pieces which tends to distort the shape of the bag so I use tape along the length of the completed bottom. Make sure there isn't any space between the edges so you don't end up taping the bottom to the inside of the bag.

7 The next step is getting the neat folds going up and down the bag. Fold one of the outer edges inwards making sure the points align and the width is constant (perpendicular) on the entire length or your bag may become a 'work of art'.

8 Turn the bag over and fold the same edge you've been working on in the opposite direction. Repeat with the other edge.

9 Now gently pop open the bag. You will have to play around with the creases to get them folding in the right directions. The center crease should fold inwards.

Once completed you should be able to fold it like this. Neato!

Voila! Cute paper bags with retro woodland animals.

Here's another version with a slightly different bottom:
http://thescentofwater.typepad.com/thescentofwater/gift-wrapping/
Here's another version that skips step 1 by using envelopes:
http://howaboutorange.blogspot.com/2009/03/gift-bags-made-from-envelopes.html

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

For those about to bloom we salute you

I'd like to salute all the autotrophs out there in the Montreal area: not only did you have to survive a late April snow storm but you somehow manage to thrive in a mad mad city world. A mad mad city world without access to modern medicine, 24 hour convenience stores and, like, mobility. Not to mention eating shit for breakfast. How do you do it?

I have great admiration for weeds, pests, and any other invasive organisms that stubbornly persist despite the direct and in-direct assaults of neurotic territorial hairless apes but I'm especially impressed by those green things that aren't normally associated with exponential growth flourishing in the heart of Montreal.

So I salute the following organisms, growing on the green-ish island in a sea of buses/shops/hipsters that is Mont-Royal, some of which are not only alive but are so cool with it all they're sexing it up. *high five*

Uvularia grandiflora or bellwort exposing their brightly colored dangly bits despite the chilly weather. From wiki on their cultivation: "they require little work and are happy just left alone but are also easy to work with if you must move them". Thus they are a relatively chillax member of the Colchicaceae family of plants which includes the homicidal meadow saffron.

Arisaema triphyllum aka Jack-in-the-pulpit. I nearly soiled myself when I found these and in retrospect I would probably have been doing them a favor. From the Arum family known for their especially phallic and sometimes eye-wateringly bad smelling flowers (remember these?). A special *high five* to you my hermaphrodite friends.

Mitella diphylla or Mitrewort with their teeny tiny, sweet snowflake shaped blossomettes designed to do one thing: get knocked-up.

ain't no petunia

Sanguinaria canadensis or Bloodroot. Their large unusual leaves expanding to their full Picassoesque splendor after the flowers are have faded.

A show of hands - who's in favor of dogs on leashes?

The gorgeous crisp white flowers of Trillium grandiflorum. Large colonies can be seen conspicuously fornicating all over Mont-Royal. When spent the flowers turn a pinkish color from shame.

***

In other news I should probably mention who won my giveaway...dOh!

My winner is Brittany who happens to be a fellow shop owner on Etsy. Check out her vintage shop Skeletonnes were you can find this retrokitschtastic(c) iridescent baby unicorn:

how does she get her eyeliner so freakin' perfect!?

Congratulations Brittany you get these not-so-mythical baby deer post earrings!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Plastic - that dirty word

You have to be a pretty sick bastard to hate waterfalls and little birds, but plastic is easy to hate. It's synthetic, cheap and, hell, a ton of it is made in China. It represents mass consumption and shit that breaks a week after you bought it. But it turns out that plastic isn't all that superficial and actually pretty neat if you take time to get to know it. What makes it neat is that it represents a singular contradiction, one that flies in the face of our ideas of what is natural. After all it's not an organic, all-natural, pesticide-free creation of mother nature. Or is it?

50's Bakelite Cats Eye RayBan Sunglasses

plastic - making you look cool since 1855

It turns out that plastic is largely made from insanely old dead plants aka petroleum.
From Wikipedia: "Petroleum or crude oil is a naturally occurring, flammable liquid consisting of a complex mixture of hydrocarbons of various molecular weights, and other organic compounds, that are found in geologic formations beneath the earth's surface." ..."It is a fossil fuel derived from ancient fossilized organic materials."

Basically lots of former living things, mostly plants, escaped the recycling forces of decomposition and over millions of years of getting buried and subjected to tremendous pressure and heat resulted in weird shit we call fossil fuels including petroleum, natural gas and coal.

Plastic tree ferns

All these different 'all-natural' petroleum products have some very interesting chemical properties which have allowed us to make an astounding variety of things, some of which are commonly associated with the axis of environment evil like plastics, pharmaceuticals, fertilizers and pesticides.

Large tree vinyl wall decal

So if chemists had to step in and finagle with a natural substance maybe we can still save this anti-plastic prejudice by appealing to the differences between what's truly organic and that which is synthetic? Something direct from nature would constitute an organic product (petrol) and something finagled with by chemists would be synthetic right?

Actually it's not that simple: the difference between organic and synthetic is largely semantic...
Wikipedia on Synthetic: "Compounds that are prepared by reaction of other compounds are referred to as "synthetic". They may be either compounds that already are found in plants or animals (semi synthetic compounds), or those that do not occur naturally."

Faux tortoise-shell and faux ivory Art Deco hair comb

Plastic - no turtles or elephants necessary

The problem with this definition is that it includes such innocent things as a food recipe. After all it combines 'natural' materials in a novel combination and even subjects them to various chemical reactions (heat from cooking, fermentation in the case of bread stuffs) to create a unique end-product never before seen in the history of the universe: Chili. If you're committed to live a wholesome natural organic lifestyle you might have to spit out that mouthful. Actually the definition of organic isn't that much better:

Paintings on sliced wood

Acrylic paint on dead elm tree sections

Basically organic just means 'contains carbon'. Since that includes a whole shit load of stuff including those associated with living organisms, like puppies, AND other things that aren't, like diamonds and steel, we try to subdivide this further into not-so-cleanly-cut categories which differ depending on who you ask. In the end "The distinction between "organic" and "inorganic" carbon compounds while "useful in organizing the vast subject of chemistry... is somewhat arbitrary". And even after all this "Many polymers (a category which includes all plastics), are organic compounds".

Styrofoam (plastic bubbles) - gee what an organic looking pattern!

Just like the difference between natural and synthetic, the distinction between organic and inorganic is useful insofar as it helps us to describe complicated things and prevents irreversible brain implosions, but is less than useful when used as a tool to judge between what is safe or unsafe, good or bad. Everything in the universe is made from the same basic ingredients. No exception.

Deer Hunter Ring

3D printed white nylon

Those fancy complex carbon-based molecules that make up tears, organic whole wheat bread and hairballs are made from ingredients found in the same pantry as those used to make vinyl records, anti-depressants and chewing gum.What's really remarkable is the staggering diversity of forms that are possible from such a small list of ingredients.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Fun things to rub your body with...

...in the shower
...or after getting 'dirty'

Get your mind out of the gutter - I'm talking about soap! Unbelievable weird handmade soaps. Do check out the shops of these talented folks - this is just the tip of the iceberg!

*Food soap*
As someone who has cast off sugar and carbs I really appreciate the vicarious pleasure of food soaps. There's a local company that makes chocolate cake slice soaps that make me wanna take all my clothes off...and take a shower. But these food soaps go way beyond chocolate and cupcakes. And you won't get fat using them - unless you eat them which you will only try once, trust me.

Amazingly realistic pbj sandwich soap

Gummy bear soap set

Sushi lover deluxe soaps

Need something to wash that down?

Frothy beer soap

*Nerdgasm soaps*
To boldly go where hopefully man has gone before...(a shower)

Star Trek shuttle-craft soap

For lovers of antiques:

Cassette tape soap

Xbox soap

from the listing:

"Scented with Mountain Dew fragrance oil, a gamer's best scent."
Do they make Mac 'n Cheese fragrance oil?

Natural history soap - nerdgasm in progress:

Jurassic Insect in Amber Soap

And lastly what I like to call *wtf soaps*

Hand soap set

Disturbed? Take a chill pill.

Happy pill soap

Brainssssssssss glow-in-the-dark soap

"Choose your scent" May I suggest Frankincense

And saving the best for last...

Rose scented poop soap

Because nothing says irony like washing your hands with poo. Also guaranteed to get those annoying friends to stop inviting themselves over.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Micro Forests, Vintage Glam and Cool New Stuff

I'm always surprised by the diversity of life found on Mount-Royal, Montreal's little green hill. All around is busy downtown city life, including subway station you can reach by foot.

For example, I nearly soiled myself when I saw this huge pileated woodpecker!

Notice the high traffic road behind him. This guy was over a foot tall. He also had a call not unlike a cross between a chimpanzee and a chicken...neato!

This is the third time I passed this particular red trillium playing hard to get with it's bud juuuust about to open. Today it finally opened, it didn't disappoint: